


A New Hope

by Reyn



Series: Batbros will be Batbros [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-07 15:58:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16857007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reyn/pseuds/Reyn
Summary: Jason gets caught. Damian shows up to save the day. With his dog. Or something to that effect.





	A New Hope

“I’m telling you, you’re making a mistake.” He tried his best to keep the desperation from his voice. “I’m not the guy you’re looking for.”

The security guard – Jason had mentally taken to calling her ‘Big Momma’. He had no idea why. Probably because she fell just short of reminding him of Amanda Waller. He could see why Bruce hired her.

Big Momma snorted and prodded a thick finger against his back. “Y'know what happened the last time I heard those words, boy? The two droids got by and a trooper found himself out of his job.”

The other cuff clicked shut.

“Yeah, but then the droids went on to save trillions of lives and defeat the Dark Side,” Jason pointed out, rolling a shoulder as he adjusted his arms into a more comfortable position. “Do you see the parallels in what I’m trying to accomplish here?”

Big Momma squinted at him suspiciously for a moment, her lip curling once she reached whatever conclusion she had been looking for. “Nice try. But you carry yourself too well in them cuffs. You got too much pride and have obviously done this before.” Jason’s shoulders slumped. “Now get walkin’. A few days in the holding cell never hurt nobody.”

A sharp push got Jason moving. “A few _days_?! We don’t have a few days! We don’t even have a few hou–Look, just let me talk to Bruce! Bruce Wayne! We’ll be able to clear this up, no problem!”

“Mr. Wayne is out of town.” The guard explained gruffly. “Once he gets back, he’ll come deal with you personally.”

Jason scoffed. “He’s not out of town. He just says that when he doesn’t feel like being a CEO on top of his other extracurricular activities.”

The world jerked sideways as the side collar of his jacket was grabbed and Big Momma gave him a good shake. “You watch your mouth, boy. That’s my billionaire playboy philanthropist boss you’re talkin’ about.”

Jason didn’t try to pull away. Instead he flashed his captor a rather sarcastic smile. “Yeah? Well, he’s also the man who raised me, which gives me the liberty of calling him whatever I–” He stumbled as Big Momma released him with a shove.

“You ain’t one of Mr. Wayne’s boys.”

“How would you know? He certainly makes it a habit of collecting us,” Jason challenged, straightening in his stance, doing his best to look like a member of aristocratic society.

His stature must not have looked very impressive because all Big Momma did was roll her eyes.

“I’ve met each and every one of Mr. Wayne’s kids personally, and they are all nothin’ short of charming young boys, who wouldn’t go around sabotaging Wayne Tech. They also call him by his proper title.” She sent him a wide-eyed look, her lips pursed. “Y'know. _Dad_.” She grabbed Jason’s jacket once more and dragged him along as they continued walking.

It took a bit of fancy footwork to not trip as Jason was hauled along.“Well, excuse me for being the rebel. Let me just call everyone by their proper title from now on.”

His grumbling went ignored.

“Okay, let’s try this. All the kids – the sons, us sons – have the override codes.”

They came to an abrupt halt once more, and Big Momma took a deep breath, obviously calling up on patience she was rapidly running out of. “Well?” she asked when Jason simply stared. “Try it.”

Jason’s eyes flickered up to the ceiling, searching for the nearest hidden camera. “JT-DC-169.”

Nothing happened.

“Huh. Look at that.” Big Momma looked around almost wondrously before focusing back on Jason, her face decidedly unamused. “The voice recognition didn’t even blip.”

“Oh, come on! I hadn’t even hit puberty last time I was recorded in the system!”

Jason lost his footing completely at how hard he was yanked and found his legs being dragged behind him as he was physically carried along by the back of his jacket. Jesus, this woman was strong.

“Okay, okay.” Now was probably a good time to stop playing it cool. “Guard Lady, I’m warning you now, my pants are in serious danger of slipping off in this position.”

“That’s fine with me,” Big Momma dismissed. “You’re pretty cute.”

Jason twisted his gaze from the carpet below him to glare up at the woman. In the process, he happened to catch a glance of some important-looking suits down another hallway, one of which was far shorter than all the others.

“Hey. Hey! That’s my little brother!” Jason’s legs flailed a bit in a sorry attempt at dragging himself backwards. “Damian! Brother! Help!”

While all the other workers looked up curiously and stared, Damian merely cast Jason a disinterested glance before returning his attention to the packet of papers in his hands just as his face disappeared from view as Jason was dragged off.

“What! No! Brother! Brother, no!” Jason twisted his whole body around, trying to get them to redirect their path back to that hall. “Damian, I swear to God, if you don’t help me, I’ll share all of your nasty secrets!”

Nobody appeared around the corner to save him.

“Alright! Fine! Did you all know he was the one who programmed all of the toilets to flush at the same time in all the Wayne facilities across the city, causing that sewage backup that had Gotham stinking for days!”

Nothing.

“He’s a cat lover!”

Still nothing.

“His favorite game is Cheese Vikings!”

The hall was getting further away.

“Come on, Damian! This is a matter of Wayne Tech security! And the swell of my ass is the only thing holding up my pants right now!” He ignored the jostle he was given and scowled at the carpet. Time for a new incentive – bribery. “I’ll teach you how to not feel dumb when-!”

“You know, if you stopped going commando everywhere, your pants wouldn’t be such a problem.”

Jason would have smiled, the relief at hearing Damian’s voice was just that great. But when he looked up, he found himself face-to-face with the biggest fucking dog he had ever come across.

It took him a moment to find his voice. “Who’s your friend?”

“Say hello, Titus.” The dog’s tongue covered Jason’s entire face as he licked him once. “I can take things from here, Mrs. Washington.”

“Are you sure, honey? He’s insisting you two are related.”

Jason would have labeled the look on Damian’s face as abject horror if the kid was capable of being horrified. As it was, Jason felt equally offended. The Wayne fortune couldn’t pay enough to convince him to share blood with this loose wire.

“Ma'am, see how I’m using ‘ma'am’ here to be polite?” Jason pointed out. “I’m going to have to ask you to never use that word in our presence again. One of us may have just vomited in our mouth.”

He found his face kissing the floor as he was abruptly dropped.

Big Momma dusted off her hands. “He’s all yours, sweetie. Good luck with him.”

The smile Damian offered was positively simpering, and this time, Jason really did throw up a little in his mouth.

“Thank you, Mrs. Washington. I’ll be sure to call you directly if he gives me any trouble.”

“Aw, you’re such a charmer,” Big Momma giggled. _Giggled! What?_ “You’re just trying to get more of my special sweet potato pie, aren’t you?”

Jason felt the need to express his opinion. “Ew.”

“I did enjoy it last time,” Damian admitted, ignoring Jason as the man tried to wiggle his pants back up before standing. “I tried asking my butler to make it, but it just wasn’t the same.”

“Probably because he tried to make some healthy version. But don’t you worry, I’ll be sure to save you a good portion next time I make it.”

The simpering smile was back. “Thank you, Mrs. Washington.”

The giggle also made another reappearance as Big Momma walked off, complete with a flirtatious wave of fingers.

“Okay, I’m officially starting to believe the Wayne charm is hereditary,” Jason said as he finally managed to clamber to his feet. “Aren’t you going to remove the cuffs?” he called out.

The dancing of fingers folded down until only the middle finger stood straight and tall over Big Momma’s shoulder.

“Bitch.” Jason made sure to pitch the insult low enough so that it wouldn’t reach the woman’s ears.

“What are you doing here, Todd?” Damian asked, staring at Jason in that unnerving way that only children and dogs could get away with.

“You know, I could ask the same of you.” Jason made it obvious he was judging Damian’s suit. “You’re twelve. I don’t care if Bruce makes up his own rules, there’s such a thing called Child Labor Laws here in America.”

“Tt.” Damian turned and started leading the way to the nearest elevator. Jason found himself forced to follow at the dog’s insistence. “This is Corporate America. Age doesn’t matter when it comes to money and power.”

Jason opened his mouth to argue, but found his words halted as the dog’s nose didn’t stop at nudging him forward. He tried to keep his gait normal against the scrape of paws each time one of his hidden weapons was noticed and pawed at.  He gave up once he reached the elevator and the dog circled around him and became intimate with his crotch.

“Call him off, or I swear to God, I’m going to introduce my boot to _his_ balls.”

Damian’s smirk was far too amused, despite the way he kept his eyes on the elevator doors. “That’s enough, Titus.” The elevator dinged and all three of them stepped inside. “Normally, I wouldn’t bother sharing this information with you, but it might come in handy some day.” Damian pulled out a key card and swiped it next to the touch screen console, turning his head to ensure he had Jason’s attention. “He only does that if he likes you.”

Jason’s eyes narrowed. There had to be a hidden message in there somewhere. Because he was fairly certain that sort of teasing wasn’t Damian’s style.

“What floor do you need?”

Jason took that as his cue to start picking the handcuffs. “Top. These guys want Bruce’s personal information. They weren’t after anything bat-big, but they’re smart and will probably find more than they bargained for if they make it.”

“Hm.” The proper express code was punched in and several seconds later, the cuffs fell uselessly to the floor.

“Can you really teach me how to not feel awkward dressing like a girl for undercover missions?”

Jason allowed himself a small smile, doing his best to repress it at Damian’s sharp glare.

“That’s something that will fade away with time,” he explained, bending to pick up the cuffs and hooking them on his belt, figuring they were going to come in handy in a few seconds. “But if you want, I can sneak in on a few undercover missions to help boost your confidence, keep the creeps away, and provide back up.”

“As a woman?”

Jason snorted. “Hell no. You want a second woman, you can ask O for help. Or Tim. Tim still makes a hot chick.”

The elevator dinged and the dog’s hackles immediately rose. Damian’s pout turned into a dark grin as the doors slid open.

“Go get 'em, Batdog,” he ordered over the growling.

The dog immediately took off, his heavy footfalls the only sound for several seconds until his snarling announced he found the enemy.

“Batdog?” Jason asked faintly.

“Mrs. Washington thinks it’s cute.”

Jason made sure the slow twist of his head as he faced Damian conveyed his exact thoughts about that. “Frigging adorable.”

The crashes and bloodcurdling screams prompted both boys to move forward. They could finish their discussion later.

 


End file.
